Does your child need help gaining more self-confidence? When they encounter a difficult task, do they have a tendency to give up? Have you overheard your child tell themselves a negative story, and you want to know how to turn it around?
In the past few years, I have witnessed a trend in kids of all ages telling themselves a negative story and having an overall lack of confidence. I’ve seen the way that these negative stories affect their ability to complete their schoolwork. For example, when an assignment becomes too difficult, they say, “I can’t do it,” and they give up. Also, I’ve heard kids say things like, “I’m stupid. I can’t do anything right.” Or, they will say that they’re not smart when that is not the case.
As parents, you understand how vital it is that a child have confidence to excel in school and in life. You want your child to choose challenging schoolwork and step outside their comfort zone. According to NEA, confidence has several advantages: “Confident students are more likely to speak in class and ask for help when needed. They often pick up material faster and are more excited to learn.”
Here are 4 techniques to build confidence in children when it comes to schoolwork:
- Require student participation by giving them an active role at home. For example, encourage students to take a leadership role when it comes to activities. Leadership roles instill a sense of importance and will boost their self-worth.
- Emphasize the ‘yet.’ When students are beginning to learn a new skill, let them know that although they may not be able to master it now, it doesn’t mean that they won’t be able to do it in the future.
- Resist overcorrecting. When students are interrupted by someone correcting them for each little mistake, this can hurt their confidence. Instead, let them finish their thought and afterwards expound on why there’s a better answer. Encourage them to be better than before rather than telling them to get the right answer, so that they won’t feel nervous about giving an incorrect answer.
- Focus on making extra time for students who lack self-confidence and prioritize one-on-one time with them to assist with skill-building.
Rigor Matters
In the past few years, schools have been more lenient with their requirements for students and have lowered their expectations to accommodate nontraditional schooling while prioritizing rigor, according to Education Week. It has been challenging for students to adjust to the nontraditional environment and maintain momentum. In the context of academics, College Raptor calls rigor “the academic or intellectual challenge of a class.” They point out that rigor is not necessarily the measure of the difficulty of a class or the amount of hard work that a student has to put in to earn a good grade. Rather, “a rigorous class prepares the student by teaching them (and having them exercise) skills useful in school, the business world, and in life.” They go on say that rigor is not something that students should shy away from, but instead view it as a challenge.
Rigor is especially needed for those planning on attending college. As students prepare for college admission, they need to consider taking more challenging courses. Colleges are looking for students who have pushed themselves to take more than the bare minimum of coursework, especially because this gives them an idea as to how the student will handle the more difficult and demanding coursework that college will bring.
Kids need to learn positive self-talk
Kids need to learn how to incorporate positive self-talk into their lives. Growing Resilience in Kids says, “Self-talk is one of the strongest indicators of a person’s level of self-esteem and level of self-confidence” and “usually, the lack of self-confidence is associated with negative self-talk.”
Here are 3 ways to teach kids how to use positive self-talk:
- Explain self-talk by telling your child that it’s something that everyone does—that it’s normal. Let them know that conversations (self-talk) are the things that we tell ourselves, either out loud or in our head. Teach them to recognize negative and positive phrases by playing a game in which the child creates a list of self-talk phrases, and then work with your child to identify the positive and negative ones.
- After the game, go into detail about what positive self-talk is and how it helps people. For instance, point out how it can help when the child feels overwhelmed, how it can encourage your child, etc.
- Teach your child how to be aware of those negative phrases when they come to mind and replace them with phrases like, “I can do this”, “I will try my best”, and “everything will be okay”. Let your child create their own positive phrases by giving them a few examples of negative self-talk and have the child replace them. This may take some practice for it to be effective.
Oftentimes kids just need someone in their corner to remind them that they can do the task and encourage them not to give up. I had a second grader who came to us for tutoring who struggled with math. He was a very bright kid, but he had a difficult time learning new concepts. I would say that it was due to a lack of confidence. When he felt overwhelmed, he would say, “I can’t do it” or “I am dumb”. After working with one of our tutors for a several weeks, he gained a lot of confidence as he learned how to incorporate positive self-talk into his life. His grades improved as well as his overall attitude about schoolwork.
If you see your child struggling and possibly saying some negative statements about his schoolwork, Dynamis Learning Academy is happy to help. Our tutors can work with your child to determine the areas in which they need the most support and develop a plan to effectively address them and the negative self-talk. Our tutors also provide support in preparing for life after high school including college admission essay writing and SAT/ACT test-taking strategies.
We, at Dynamis Learning Academy, are here to help your K-12 child whether its for a specific subject matter or to assist with SAT/ACT Prep. Contact owner Helen Panos at helen@dynamislearningacademy.com or at 770-282-9931 to schedule a free consultation about tutoring, goal-setting, SAT/ACT Prep, college admission essay writing, or any other area of academic concern.
Helen is an expert educator with over 25 years of experience. She believes in the importance of helping children reach their potential and becoming well-rounded, intelligent citizens with a positive influence and impact on society. Helen assists parents in accessing the best skills, strategies, tools, and resources to help children be successful and ultimately excel in the world.
Does your child need help gaining more self-confidence? When they encounter a difficult task, do they have a tendency to give up? Have you overheard your child tell themselves a negative story, and you want to know how to turn it around?
In the past few years, I have witnessed a trend in kids of all ages telling themselves a negative story and having an overall lack of confidence. I’ve seen the way that these negative stories affect their ability to complete their schoolwork. For example, when an assignment becomes too difficult, they say, “I can’t do it,” and they give up. Also, I’ve heard kids say things like, “I’m stupid. I can’t do anything right.” Or, they will say that they’re not smart when that is not the case.
As parents, you understand how vital it is that a child have confidence to excel in school and in life. You want your child to choose challenging schoolwork and step outside their comfort zone. According to NEA, confidence has several advantages: “Confident students are more likely to speak in class and ask for help when needed. They often pick up material faster and are more excited to learn.”
Here are 4 techniques to build confidence in children when it comes to schoolwork:
- Require student participation by giving them an active role at home. For example, encourage students to take a leadership role when it comes to activities. Leadership roles instill a sense of importance and will boost their self-worth.
- Emphasize the ‘yet.’ When students are beginning to learn a new skill, let them know that although they may not be able to master it now, it doesn’t mean that they won’t be able to do it in the future.
- Resist overcorrecting. When students are interrupted by someone correcting them for each little mistake, this can hurt their confidence. Instead, let them finish their thought and afterwards expound on why there’s a better answer. Encourage them to be better than before rather than telling them to get the right answer, so that they won’t feel nervous about giving an incorrect answer.
- Focus on making extra time for students who lack self-confidence and prioritize one-on-one time with them to assist with skill-building.
Rigor Matters
In the past few years, schools have been more lenient with their requirements for students and have lowered their expectations to accommodate nontraditional schooling while prioritizing rigor, according to Education Week. It has been challenging for students to adjust to the nontraditional environment and maintain momentum. In the context of academics, College Raptor calls rigor “the academic or intellectual challenge of a class.” They point out that rigor is not necessarily the measure of the difficulty of a class or the amount of hard work that a student has to put in to earn a good grade. Rather, “a rigorous class prepares the student by teaching them (and having them exercise) skills useful in school, the business world, and in life.” They go on say that rigor is not something that students should shy away from, but instead view it as a challenge.
Rigor is especially needed for those planning on attending college. As students prepare for college admission, they need to consider taking more challenging courses. Colleges are looking for students who have pushed themselves to take more than the bare minimum of coursework, especially because this gives them an idea as to how the student will handle the more difficult and demanding coursework that college will bring.
Kids need to learn positive self-talk
Kids need to learn how to incorporate positive self-talk into their lives. Growing Resilience in Kids says, “Self-talk is one of the strongest indicators of a person’s level of self-esteem and level of self-confidence” and “usually, the lack of self-confidence is associated with negative self-talk.”
Here are 3 ways to teach kids how to use positive self-talk:
- Explain self-talk by telling your child that it’s something that everyone does—that it’s normal. Let them know that conversations (self-talk) are the things that we tell ourselves, either out loud or in our head. Teach them to recognize negative and positive phrases by playing a game in which the child creates a list of self-talk phrases, and then work with your child to identify the positive and negative ones.
- After the game, go into detail about what positive self-talk is and how it helps people. For instance, point out how it can help when the child feels overwhelmed, how it can encourage your child, etc.
- Teach your child how to be aware of those negative phrases when they come to mind and replace them with phrases like, “I can do this”, “I will try my best”, and “everything will be okay”. Let your child create their own positive phrases by giving them a few examples of negative self-talk and have the child replace them. This may take some practice for it to be effective.
Oftentimes kids just need someone in their corner to remind them that they can do the task and encourage them not to give up. I had a second grader who came to us for tutoring who struggled with math. He was a very bright kid, but he had a difficult time learning new concepts. I would say that it was due to a lack of confidence. When he felt overwhelmed, he would say, “I can’t do it” or “I am dumb”. After working with one of our tutors for a several weeks, he gained a lot of confidence as he learned how to incorporate positive self-talk into his life. His grades improved as well as his overall attitude about schoolwork.
If you see your child struggling and possibly saying some negative statements about his schoolwork, Dynamis Learning Academy is happy to help. Our tutors can work with your child to determine the areas in which they need the most support and develop a plan to effectively address them and the negative self-talk. Our tutors also provide support in preparing for life after high school including college admission essay writing and SAT/ACT test-taking strategies.
We, at Dynamis Learning Academy, are here to help your K-12 child whether its for a specific subject matter or to assist with SAT/ACT Prep. Contact owner Helen Panos at helen@dynamislearningacademy.com or at 770-282-9931 to schedule a free consultation about tutoring, goal-setting, SAT/ACT Prep, college admission essay writing, or any other area of academic concern.
Helen is an expert educator with over 25 years of experience. She believes in the importance of helping children reach their potential and becoming well-rounded, intelligent citizens with a positive influence and impact on society. Helen assists parents in accessing the best skills, strategies, tools, and resources to help children be successful and ultimately excel in the world.